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- Thread starter anhedonia
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[DWH]Yuxuan
New Member
Death?
My lord?
A grave.
He shall not live.
(King John, 3.3)
My lord?
A grave.
He shall not live.
(King John, 3.3)
Week #6 Match: Jack Thompson vs. The Video Gaming Community
[size=12pt]VERSUS:[/size]
Announcers
Alak
JSnipe
Mario
Sgt. Johnson
The Late 2Pac
Audience
Everyone who's anyone!
THE MATCH
Alak: Welcome to the Colosseum!
Mario: LET’S KICK SOME LAWYER A**!
Alak: Calm down, Mario. With a lawyer this bloated with s**t, we will have a ton of a** to go around.
JSnipe: Yeah, I want to see Jackie get it too.
Sgt. Johnson: Go, go, go!
Alak: I believe Sgt. Johnson just triggered the match!
Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the Colosseum…...
Jimmy Hopkins from Bully: Give me your lunch money!
Jack Thompson: This is utter nonsense! I will not give you anything!
Alak: POW! Did you just see that, JSnipe?
JSnipe: Of course I did! Jack Thompson just got swirlied in true high school bully fashion!
Mario: OH YEAH! WE OWNED THAT NOOB!
Alak: What do we have here?!?!? Jack Thompson is making an attempted COMEBACK!
JSnipe: Do you mean a Michael Jackson-like attempted comeback where Jack Thompson molested some little kids and needs to redeem himself? Or a 2004 MLB ALCS comeback when the Red Sox raped the Yankees four games in a row.
Alak: From this angle…err…I can’t tell!
Down in the arena…...
Jack Thompson: I WILL USE…MY LAWYER BIG WORD POWERS!
Jack Thompson lets out his lawyer big word power. In an instant, Jimmy Hopkins was overwhelmed...
Jack Thompson: Abjure, abrogate, abstemious, acumen, antebellum, auspicious, belie, bellicose, bowdlerize, chicanery, chromosome, churlish, circumlocution, circumnavigate, deciduous, deleterious, diffident, enervate, enfranchise, epiphany, equinox, euro, evanescent, expurgate, facetious, fatuous, feckless, fiduciary, filibuster, gamete, gauche, gerrymander, hegemony, hemoglobin, homogeneous, hubris, hypotenuse, impeach, incognito, incontrovertible, inculcate, infrastructure, interpolate, irony, jejune, kinetic, kowtow, laissez faire, lexicon, loquacious, lugubrious, metamorphosis, mitosis, moiety, nanotechnology, nihilism, nomenclature, nonsectarian, notarize, obsequious, oligarchy, omnipotent, orthography, oxidize, parabola, paradigm, parameter, pecuniary, photosynthesis, plagiarize, plasma, polymer, precipitous, quasar, quotidian, recapitulate, reciprocal, reparation, respiration, sanguine, soliloquy, subjugate, suffragist, supercilious, tautology, taxonomy, tectonic, tempestuous, thermodynamics, totalitarian, unctuous, usurp, vacuous, vehement, vortex, winnow, wrought, xenophobe, yeoman, ziggurat!
The Late 2Pac: GAH! KILL ME, KILL ME NOW! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE THIS! TOO…MANY…BIG….WORDS!
Back in the stands...
Kitime: WTF? Isn’t 2Pac dead?
Joe Kickass: Well, yeah…
Frak: I AR THINK CONSPIRACY! He raps about what’s going on today! Seriously, he’s f**king dead and he makes songs about 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina! I think his death was faked, just like 9/11.
Everyone: Frak, shut up!
Frak: I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Down in the arena again…...
Carl Johnson from GTA:SA: Jackie, long time no see, eh?
Jack Thompson: Oh, s**t…
Carl Johnson: Don’t you remember the money you owe me? I didn’t forget it…
Jack Thompson: Uh…
Carl Johnson: Don’t play stupid with me! If I snap my fingers, the Master Chief and Tifa from Final Fantasy will come in.
Jack Thompson: OH GOD! NOT TIFA! PLEASE!
Carl Johnson: Give me the money!
Jack Thompson: I’ll protect myself! ACTIVATING PROPAGANDA MODE!
Jack Thompson activates his propaganda mode and starts selectively giving false facts about gaming and the world in general...
Jack Thompson: 99.9% of people who play Grand Theft Auto have killed a person.
If you play The Sims 2, you have AIDS.
Playing World of Warcraft turns you into a homosexual.
Eating more than 1 gram of sugar will turn you into a stapler.
For every time you masturbate, God strangles a little kitten.
If you drink Red Bull and are playing Second Life, you turn into Sulley from Monsters, Inc.
Don’t drink Bud Light. It’s just a bunch of dog piss.
If you shoot someone, it’s because you play video games.
If you watch or read “The Basketball Diaries”, you will walk into school with an AK-47 and fire it into the crowd of kids.
No one can play Mortal Kombat: Armageddon because using the Kreate a Fighter you can make a character look like me.
Mortal Kombat is the KKK. They use a K instead of a C.
Even though I want to ban sales of M-rated games to minors, I lobbied against Hilary Clinton’s bill to do that exact thing because I thought it was “unconstitutional”.
The Florida Bar Association is unconstitutional. It has a pro-gay, humanist, liberal agenda.
Because I lost a fight to another attorney, I accused that attorney of distributing porn to kids.
If a child hangs himself, he is automatically imitating Kenny McCormick from South Park. Automatically. That means that South Park promotes death and should be off the air. Forever.
Finally, if you think the banhammer is fake, you are banned.
Jack Thompson’s propaganda spree instantly kills all of the people who work at Rockstar Games and all their creations. It also kills Frak...
2Pac: Aw DAMN! This guy has got some moves!
Ash from Pokemon: Master Chief, I CHOOSE YOU!
Master Chief steps out...
Alak: Apparently, Ash from Pokemon has sent Master Chief to attack Thompson.
Mario: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Sgt. Johnson: Why in the hell is Ash here? He’s in a TV show. This is the VIDEO GAMING COMMUNITY!
JSnipe: Ash was in those really crappy GameBoy Pokemon games.
On the bleachers…...
Joe Kickass: GO CANADA!
Punish: wtf u no 1337 u l3ve c0ls1um n0w b33tch3
Back at the arena with the announcers and contestants…...
Alak: And here comes Tifa…
Tifa steps out to aid the Master Chief...
Tifa: Let’s kick some stupid white lawyer who believes the world is ending a**!
Mario: THAT GIRL KNOWS WHAT SHE’S DOING!
Master Chief throws a plasma grenade at Thompson. It hits Thompson, but he dives away. He barely survives....
Alak: I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THOMPSON IS GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!
Tifa reaches toward Thompson’s balls....
Tifa: Say good-bye to your manliness!
Right before Tifa rips Thompson’s balls off, she spots a senior in the crowd...
Tifa: ED!
Matt: You’re going to get OWNED!
Dark: Yeah…if I were you I’d start ru…
Ed starts sprinting away as fast as he can…...
Tifa: COME BACK, BABY!
Tifa sprints after Ed. Thompson uses the short distraction to use his next power...
Jack Thompson: Activate…uhh…oh s**t, I’m all out of powers!
Alak: And that’s it, folks! Jack Thompson is all out of powers.
JSnipe: Well, what did you expect? All Jack Thompson can do is use big vocabulary and propaganda!
Sgt. Johnson: That’s it, than! Now it’s time to let out the rest of the video gaming community.
Mario: I WANT TO BITE HIS A** FIRST!
Alak: And with that, we conclude this session of the Colosseum!
JSnipe: It’s not over, yet! While the rest of the gaming community eats Jack Thompson, 2Pac will lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance.
The gaming community stops eating Jack Thompson and raises their right hands over their hearts.
2Pac: Today, I will rap the Pledge! This is to the beat of ‘We Will Rock You’.
2Pac: [The original BU-BU-CH sounds begin.]
[start chorus]We-e-e-e pledge all-e-gience, all-e-gience.
Say We-e-e-e pledge all-e-gience, all-e-gience.[end chorus]
[Verse One Begins]
We pledge allegience to the flag, to the flag , to the flag, of the, of the United States!
You got love on yo face,
Al-Qaeda disgraced,
Pledgin’ allegiance to the United States!
[Verse One Ends]
[Chorus]
[Verse Two Begins]
We live under God and for what he stands for: one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all!
You are an ace,
With yo big mace,
Pledgin’ and dancin’ all over the place!
[Verse Two Ends]
[Chorus x2]
[Song End]
Alak: Now is when the match is over.
JSnipe: Still not over!
The gaming community starts beating the s**t out of Thompson again as soon as 2Pac is cheered and applauded as he leaves the arena...
JSnipe: I think we should stop them.
Some stray voices are heard...
Mario: GIVE ‘EM HELL!
Cloud Strife: HEY, WoW NERD, USE YOUR MAGIC ON HIS A**! MAKE HIM PAY!
Link: IF ANYONE DARES TO TRY TO STOP ME, I WILL PWN THEM!
The Gaming Community: YEAH!
Alak: Err…let’s just go…
[size=12pt]THE END[/size]
[size=12pt]VERSUS:[/size]
Announcers
Alak
JSnipe
Mario
Sgt. Johnson
The Late 2Pac
Audience
Everyone who's anyone!
THE MATCH
Alak: Welcome to the Colosseum!
Mario: LET’S KICK SOME LAWYER A**!
Alak: Calm down, Mario. With a lawyer this bloated with s**t, we will have a ton of a** to go around.
JSnipe: Yeah, I want to see Jackie get it too.
Sgt. Johnson: Go, go, go!
Alak: I believe Sgt. Johnson just triggered the match!
Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the Colosseum…...
Jimmy Hopkins from Bully: Give me your lunch money!
Jack Thompson: This is utter nonsense! I will not give you anything!
Alak: POW! Did you just see that, JSnipe?
JSnipe: Of course I did! Jack Thompson just got swirlied in true high school bully fashion!
Mario: OH YEAH! WE OWNED THAT NOOB!
Alak: What do we have here?!?!? Jack Thompson is making an attempted COMEBACK!
JSnipe: Do you mean a Michael Jackson-like attempted comeback where Jack Thompson molested some little kids and needs to redeem himself? Or a 2004 MLB ALCS comeback when the Red Sox raped the Yankees four games in a row.
Alak: From this angle…err…I can’t tell!
Down in the arena…...
Jack Thompson: I WILL USE…MY LAWYER BIG WORD POWERS!
Jack Thompson lets out his lawyer big word power. In an instant, Jimmy Hopkins was overwhelmed...
Jack Thompson: Abjure, abrogate, abstemious, acumen, antebellum, auspicious, belie, bellicose, bowdlerize, chicanery, chromosome, churlish, circumlocution, circumnavigate, deciduous, deleterious, diffident, enervate, enfranchise, epiphany, equinox, euro, evanescent, expurgate, facetious, fatuous, feckless, fiduciary, filibuster, gamete, gauche, gerrymander, hegemony, hemoglobin, homogeneous, hubris, hypotenuse, impeach, incognito, incontrovertible, inculcate, infrastructure, interpolate, irony, jejune, kinetic, kowtow, laissez faire, lexicon, loquacious, lugubrious, metamorphosis, mitosis, moiety, nanotechnology, nihilism, nomenclature, nonsectarian, notarize, obsequious, oligarchy, omnipotent, orthography, oxidize, parabola, paradigm, parameter, pecuniary, photosynthesis, plagiarize, plasma, polymer, precipitous, quasar, quotidian, recapitulate, reciprocal, reparation, respiration, sanguine, soliloquy, subjugate, suffragist, supercilious, tautology, taxonomy, tectonic, tempestuous, thermodynamics, totalitarian, unctuous, usurp, vacuous, vehement, vortex, winnow, wrought, xenophobe, yeoman, ziggurat!
The Late 2Pac: GAH! KILL ME, KILL ME NOW! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE THIS! TOO…MANY…BIG….WORDS!
Back in the stands...
Kitime: WTF? Isn’t 2Pac dead?
Joe Kickass: Well, yeah…
Frak: I AR THINK CONSPIRACY! He raps about what’s going on today! Seriously, he’s f**king dead and he makes songs about 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina! I think his death was faked, just like 9/11.
Everyone: Frak, shut up!
Frak: I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Down in the arena again…...
Carl Johnson from GTA:SA: Jackie, long time no see, eh?
Jack Thompson: Oh, s**t…
Carl Johnson: Don’t you remember the money you owe me? I didn’t forget it…
Jack Thompson: Uh…
Carl Johnson: Don’t play stupid with me! If I snap my fingers, the Master Chief and Tifa from Final Fantasy will come in.
Jack Thompson: OH GOD! NOT TIFA! PLEASE!
Carl Johnson: Give me the money!
Jack Thompson: I’ll protect myself! ACTIVATING PROPAGANDA MODE!
Jack Thompson activates his propaganda mode and starts selectively giving false facts about gaming and the world in general...
Jack Thompson: 99.9% of people who play Grand Theft Auto have killed a person.
If you play The Sims 2, you have AIDS.
Playing World of Warcraft turns you into a homosexual.
Eating more than 1 gram of sugar will turn you into a stapler.
For every time you masturbate, God strangles a little kitten.
If you drink Red Bull and are playing Second Life, you turn into Sulley from Monsters, Inc.
Don’t drink Bud Light. It’s just a bunch of dog piss.
If you shoot someone, it’s because you play video games.
If you watch or read “The Basketball Diaries”, you will walk into school with an AK-47 and fire it into the crowd of kids.
No one can play Mortal Kombat: Armageddon because using the Kreate a Fighter you can make a character look like me.
Mortal Kombat is the KKK. They use a K instead of a C.
Even though I want to ban sales of M-rated games to minors, I lobbied against Hilary Clinton’s bill to do that exact thing because I thought it was “unconstitutional”.
The Florida Bar Association is unconstitutional. It has a pro-gay, humanist, liberal agenda.
Because I lost a fight to another attorney, I accused that attorney of distributing porn to kids.
If a child hangs himself, he is automatically imitating Kenny McCormick from South Park. Automatically. That means that South Park promotes death and should be off the air. Forever.
Finally, if you think the banhammer is fake, you are banned.
Jack Thompson’s propaganda spree instantly kills all of the people who work at Rockstar Games and all their creations. It also kills Frak...
2Pac: Aw DAMN! This guy has got some moves!
Ash from Pokemon: Master Chief, I CHOOSE YOU!
Master Chief steps out...
Alak: Apparently, Ash from Pokemon has sent Master Chief to attack Thompson.
Mario: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Sgt. Johnson: Why in the hell is Ash here? He’s in a TV show. This is the VIDEO GAMING COMMUNITY!
JSnipe: Ash was in those really crappy GameBoy Pokemon games.
On the bleachers…...
Joe Kickass: GO CANADA!
Punish: wtf u no 1337 u l3ve c0ls1um n0w b33tch3
Back at the arena with the announcers and contestants…...
Alak: And here comes Tifa…
Tifa steps out to aid the Master Chief...
Tifa: Let’s kick some stupid white lawyer who believes the world is ending a**!
Mario: THAT GIRL KNOWS WHAT SHE’S DOING!
Master Chief throws a plasma grenade at Thompson. It hits Thompson, but he dives away. He barely survives....
Alak: I DON’T BELIEVE IT! THOMPSON IS GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!
Tifa reaches toward Thompson’s balls....
Tifa: Say good-bye to your manliness!
Right before Tifa rips Thompson’s balls off, she spots a senior in the crowd...
Tifa: ED!
Matt: You’re going to get OWNED!
Dark: Yeah…if I were you I’d start ru…
Ed starts sprinting away as fast as he can…...
Tifa: COME BACK, BABY!
Tifa sprints after Ed. Thompson uses the short distraction to use his next power...
Jack Thompson: Activate…uhh…oh s**t, I’m all out of powers!
Alak: And that’s it, folks! Jack Thompson is all out of powers.
JSnipe: Well, what did you expect? All Jack Thompson can do is use big vocabulary and propaganda!
Sgt. Johnson: That’s it, than! Now it’s time to let out the rest of the video gaming community.
Mario: I WANT TO BITE HIS A** FIRST!
Alak: And with that, we conclude this session of the Colosseum!
JSnipe: It’s not over, yet! While the rest of the gaming community eats Jack Thompson, 2Pac will lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance.
The gaming community stops eating Jack Thompson and raises their right hands over their hearts.
2Pac: Today, I will rap the Pledge! This is to the beat of ‘We Will Rock You’.
2Pac: [The original BU-BU-CH sounds begin.]
[start chorus]We-e-e-e pledge all-e-gience, all-e-gience.
Say We-e-e-e pledge all-e-gience, all-e-gience.[end chorus]
[Verse One Begins]
We pledge allegience to the flag, to the flag , to the flag, of the, of the United States!
You got love on yo face,
Al-Qaeda disgraced,
Pledgin’ allegiance to the United States!
[Verse One Ends]
[Chorus]
[Verse Two Begins]
We live under God and for what he stands for: one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all!
You are an ace,
With yo big mace,
Pledgin’ and dancin’ all over the place!
[Verse Two Ends]
[Chorus x2]
[Song End]
Alak: Now is when the match is over.
JSnipe: Still not over!
The gaming community starts beating the s**t out of Thompson again as soon as 2Pac is cheered and applauded as he leaves the arena...
JSnipe: I think we should stop them.
Some stray voices are heard...
Mario: GIVE ‘EM HELL!
Cloud Strife: HEY, WoW NERD, USE YOUR MAGIC ON HIS A**! MAKE HIM PAY!
Link: IF ANYONE DARES TO TRY TO STOP ME, I WILL PWN THEM!
The Gaming Community: YEAH!
Alak: Err…let’s just go…
[size=12pt]THE END[/size]
[DWH]Yuxuan
New Member
Wow... wtf did you copy?? Lol
[22:16] <Doobies> your mum kirsten
[22:16] <Doobies> YOUR MUM
[22:16] * LadyShadow is listening to: Dragonforce - Once in a Lifetime [07:46m]
[22:17] <LadyShadow> NO YOUR MUM
[22:17] <Doobies> NO YOU
[22:32] <UG[Away]> Your all very Immature.
[22:32] <UG[Away]> :}
[22:35] * LadyShadow nods
[22:16] <Doobies> YOUR MUM
[22:16] * LadyShadow is listening to: Dragonforce - Once in a Lifetime [07:46m]
[22:17] <LadyShadow> NO YOUR MUM
[22:17] <Doobies> NO YOU
[22:32] <UG[Away]> Your all very Immature.
[22:32] <UG[Away]> :}
[22:35] * LadyShadow nods
