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where is every1 going?
- Thread starter Cyber
- Start date
Unless someone had deleted it, Syd, just read the thread entitled sometime like "first to post gets 300-2000 hits a day". But, as it has been deleted-- and don't worry, Syd, I'll not mention who beyond all doubt deleted it, Syd-- I'll sum it up here:
Syd apparently scrapped her website, which used a CJB redirecting URL. Her offer was to give the first person to reply to her thread this URL, which got in the neighborhood of 300-2000 hits per day. Phroz replied first and she gave it to him. All was well, the agreed upon transfer was made, the case was settled. Some time later it was brought to Syd's attention that she could had made a lot of money off a URL getting 300-2000 hits per day with blind links. She wanted it back. Phroz, rightfully, said no, that is was his now to do as he liked with it and he'd not return it. Syd got all weepy, claiming that it was Christmas and Phroz had taken advantage of her and she needed that money for college and that he should give it back right away. Some agreed with her, but most didn't. Her fault, I and others said, the URL was given outright to Phroz on her terms, nothing ill was said or done in the process. It was Phroz's now and if he had any sense about him he'd keep it until the traffic dropped off. She made her bed and now she would have to lie in it, it would be a lesson to her to be more careful in the future. This didn't settled on someone too well, 't would seem, and the thread was deleted by persons unknown, wasn't it, Syd?
That was "that" issue, and if Syd would rather leave than face "that", well, best she go ahead. She is wrong on one count, though. She believes that no one cares about her, in that is her error. If she was looking for coddling, she found none, but she did find care. Those that laid the blame at her feet, all those I read at least, told her that, while this was a strike against her, she should learn from it and be made stronger by it and not make the same mistake again. That is care, harsh, but more valuable than any blind consolment she might had wished to hear.
I'm sure many didn't want this posted, seems even you said later it would've been better had you never brought it up, but it needed to be said. It won't "make things worse", as Cheatpark suggested it would, if anything bringing it out will offer a chance of closure. You can't simply strike a hurtful event from your memory, run from your problems, and hope for the best. It will never end like that, it will always chase you. It must be talked openly.
That, I think, is the problem as of late on this forum. I remember when arguments would rage for page after page here, but all would eventually wind themselves up and the community righted again of its own accord. That doesn't happen much, now. I don't know whether it's the people or the board itself, but everything seems to now just go stagnat. The proverbial can of worms will be opened, but it's seldom if ever sealed again, it's just pushed aside and wipped from memory-- only it isn't wipped from meomory, only repressed. There's a tension on this board that wasn't ever here before. There are the pleasent threads-- most of them are, actually-- lighthearted and giggly on the surface, but under them it's all black. You know the feeling you get, when you sense something wrong but you can't quite put your fingure on what it is? Everywhere here I get that feeling. From the parting words of many here who have left, I tend to think others feel this as well. They all seem to speak of the atmosphere being different, being changed from how it was before, how the people are different, how the boards are different. None have put to words how they have changed or what makes them different, but they agree that it has and is.
Someone mentioned how it is that those who leave have an odd tendency to return a few months later. That's not surprising, really. My theory, and it is just a theory, is that this deep-seated, wordless tension wells up in a person until it reaches the breaking point and they can no longer pretend that they don't feel it and they can repress no more. They leave, usually without ill words for they themseleves are not certain what made them want to flee, and they stay away until sufficent time has passed to forget what troubled them-- to cleanse themselves, so to speak. And they return, refreshed, as though nothing has happened. I do not recall, but afterwards I don't believe anyone who has returned from absense has explained why they left or why they came back, outside of jest. That follows perfectly, for if I am right they would not had known when leaving why they left because they could not express in words their heavy, dark feelings, and they would have known even less when returning what made them leave because for what was once wordless dread now ceases to exists at all for them. They returned because nothing held them back any longer, and nothing can't be described when asked "why did you come back?"
While good times are spent here in this most pleasent community by myself and I think most everyone, this is an ill place-- though I don't prentend to know what makes it ill. Silencing troubles certainly will not help, whatever the root cause may be, however.
...and it was directed to Gayo for the parts where I said "you" (i.e. "seems even you said later it would've been better had you never brought it up..."). The repeated use of the name "Syd" near the top was done on purpose, I'm sure if you read it again you'd figure it out: "unless someone had deleted it, Syd". Those parts where I wasn't speaking to "you" I was speaking largely to myself but for everyone.
"Unless someone had deleted it, Syd, just read the thread entitled sometime like "first to post gets 300-2000 hits a day". But, as it has been deleted-- and don't worry, Syd, I'll not mention who beyond all doubt deleted it, Syd-- I'll sum it up here:"
IT did get deleted I believe.
S"yd apparently scrapped her website, which used a CJB redirecting URL. Her offer was to give the first person to reply to her thread this URL, which got in the neighborhood of 300-2000 hits per day. Phroz replied first and she gave it to him. All was well, the agreed upon transfer was made, the case was settled. Some time later it was brought to Syd's attention that she could had made a lot of money off a URL getting 300-2000 hits per day with blind links. She wanted it back. Phroz, rightfully, said no, that is was his now to do as he liked with it and he'd not return it. Syd got all weepy, claiming that it was Christmas and Phroz had taken advantage of her and she needed that money for college and that he should give it back right away. Some agreed with her, but most didn't. Her fault, I and others said, the URL was given outright to Phroz on her terms, nothing ill was said or done in the process. It was Phroz's now and if he had any sense about him he'd keep it until the traffic dropped off. She made her bed and now she would have to lie in it, it would be a lesson to her to be more careful in the future. This didn't settled on someone too well, 't would seem, and the thread was deleted by persons unknown, wasn't it, Syd?"
While I agree, that it is Phrozen's right to keep the URL, he did take advantage of her. He knew what she could get, but he just took it from her without advising her. Now, I am not saying he has to give it back to her, because it was a gift, but he could have warned here.
"That was "that" issue, and if Syd would rather leave than face "that", well, best she go ahead. She is wrong on one count, though. She believes that no one cares about her, in that is her error. If she was looking for coddling, she found none, but she did find care. Those that laid the blame at her feet, all those I read at least, told her that, while this was a strike against her, she should learn from it and be made stronger by it and not make the same mistake again. That is care, harsh, but more valuable than any blind consolment she might had wished to hear."
I agree with you on that point, except for the fact that she WAS taken advantage of.
"That, I think, is the problem as of late on this forum. I remember when arguments would rage for page after page here, but all would eventually wind themselves up and the community righted again of its own accord. That doesn't happen much, now. I don't know whether it's the people or the board itself, but everything seems to now just go stagnat. The proverbial can of worms will be opened, but it's seldom if ever sealed again, it's just pushed aside and wipped from memory-- only it isn't wipped from meomory, only repressed. There's a tension on this board that wasn't ever here before. There are the pleasent threads-- most of them are, actually-- lighthearted and giggly on the surface, but under them it's all black. You know the feeling you get, when you sense something wrong but you can't quite put your fingure on what it is? Everywhere here I get that feeling. From the parting words of many here who have left, I tend to think others feel this as well. They all seem to speak of the atmosphere being different, being changed from how it was before, how the people are different, how the boards are different. None have put to words how they have changed or what makes them different, but they agree that it has and is."
Yeah. Forums tend to go sometihng along those lines. I remember reading some page that outlined the way a forum works.
The Beginning- The forum just starts out with no more than 10 regular users on the forum. That was back in the day, when this website had ONE message baord for everything.
The growth period- Slowly the forum tends to get more people, usually through word of mouth. The hierarchy of the board starts to be formed with the people who will later become the "elders" of teh board so to speak. This didn't happen as much here, because there aren't that many people back from the old days that are here now. Only ones I recognize that post frequently then and now are me and dusty.
The Golden Age- What this website just went through. ITs where the website has many many users, many from the old times. There are many topics being discussed. Whenever there are flames, they are later corrected.
THe downfall- MAy appear to be active, and it still is, but it begins to fall apart, with more flames than previously. People begin to hate each other, and there is usually one incident that starts the end of the board as it is known. Doubt it will be teh whole redirector thing, because it didn't really affect many people, except syd and phrozen, however, coincidently or not, people have announced that they are leaving since that thread.
"Someone mentioned how it is that those who leave have an odd tendency to return a few months later. That's not surprising, really. My theory, and it is just a theory, is that this deep-seated, wordless tension wells up in a person until it reaches the breaking point and they can no longer pretend that they don't feel it and they can repress no more. They leave, usually without ill words for they themseleves are not certain what made them want to flee, and they stay away until sufficent time has passed to forget what troubled them-- to cleanse themselves, so to speak. And they return, refreshed, as though nothing has happened. I do not recall, but afterwards I don't believe anyone who has returned from absense has explained why they left or why they came back, outside of jest. That follows perfectly, for if I am right they would not had known when leaving why they left because they could not express in words their heavy, dark feelings, and they would have known even less when returning what made them leave because for what was once wordless dread now ceases to exists at all for them. They returned because nothing held them back any longer, and nothing can't be described when asked "why did you come back?""
People just do it to get a reaction out of people. Now they may actually leave, but later decide that they can't stay away forever. IT is an addiction to a forum, despite people's deniance.
"While good times are spent here in this most pleasent community by myself and I think most everyone, this is an ill place-- though I don't prentend to know what makes it ill. Silencing troubles certainly will not help, whatever the root cause may be, however."
Nothing is wrong with this board other than the fact that people are just sort of growing tired of each other and time. Forums come and go, its just a matter of evolution on the net.
IT did get deleted I believe.
S"yd apparently scrapped her website, which used a CJB redirecting URL. Her offer was to give the first person to reply to her thread this URL, which got in the neighborhood of 300-2000 hits per day. Phroz replied first and she gave it to him. All was well, the agreed upon transfer was made, the case was settled. Some time later it was brought to Syd's attention that she could had made a lot of money off a URL getting 300-2000 hits per day with blind links. She wanted it back. Phroz, rightfully, said no, that is was his now to do as he liked with it and he'd not return it. Syd got all weepy, claiming that it was Christmas and Phroz had taken advantage of her and she needed that money for college and that he should give it back right away. Some agreed with her, but most didn't. Her fault, I and others said, the URL was given outright to Phroz on her terms, nothing ill was said or done in the process. It was Phroz's now and if he had any sense about him he'd keep it until the traffic dropped off. She made her bed and now she would have to lie in it, it would be a lesson to her to be more careful in the future. This didn't settled on someone too well, 't would seem, and the thread was deleted by persons unknown, wasn't it, Syd?"
While I agree, that it is Phrozen's right to keep the URL, he did take advantage of her. He knew what she could get, but he just took it from her without advising her. Now, I am not saying he has to give it back to her, because it was a gift, but he could have warned here.
"That was "that" issue, and if Syd would rather leave than face "that", well, best she go ahead. She is wrong on one count, though. She believes that no one cares about her, in that is her error. If she was looking for coddling, she found none, but she did find care. Those that laid the blame at her feet, all those I read at least, told her that, while this was a strike against her, she should learn from it and be made stronger by it and not make the same mistake again. That is care, harsh, but more valuable than any blind consolment she might had wished to hear."
I agree with you on that point, except for the fact that she WAS taken advantage of.
"That, I think, is the problem as of late on this forum. I remember when arguments would rage for page after page here, but all would eventually wind themselves up and the community righted again of its own accord. That doesn't happen much, now. I don't know whether it's the people or the board itself, but everything seems to now just go stagnat. The proverbial can of worms will be opened, but it's seldom if ever sealed again, it's just pushed aside and wipped from memory-- only it isn't wipped from meomory, only repressed. There's a tension on this board that wasn't ever here before. There are the pleasent threads-- most of them are, actually-- lighthearted and giggly on the surface, but under them it's all black. You know the feeling you get, when you sense something wrong but you can't quite put your fingure on what it is? Everywhere here I get that feeling. From the parting words of many here who have left, I tend to think others feel this as well. They all seem to speak of the atmosphere being different, being changed from how it was before, how the people are different, how the boards are different. None have put to words how they have changed or what makes them different, but they agree that it has and is."
Yeah. Forums tend to go sometihng along those lines. I remember reading some page that outlined the way a forum works.
The Beginning- The forum just starts out with no more than 10 regular users on the forum. That was back in the day, when this website had ONE message baord for everything.
The growth period- Slowly the forum tends to get more people, usually through word of mouth. The hierarchy of the board starts to be formed with the people who will later become the "elders" of teh board so to speak. This didn't happen as much here, because there aren't that many people back from the old days that are here now. Only ones I recognize that post frequently then and now are me and dusty.
The Golden Age- What this website just went through. ITs where the website has many many users, many from the old times. There are many topics being discussed. Whenever there are flames, they are later corrected.
THe downfall- MAy appear to be active, and it still is, but it begins to fall apart, with more flames than previously. People begin to hate each other, and there is usually one incident that starts the end of the board as it is known. Doubt it will be teh whole redirector thing, because it didn't really affect many people, except syd and phrozen, however, coincidently or not, people have announced that they are leaving since that thread.
"Someone mentioned how it is that those who leave have an odd tendency to return a few months later. That's not surprising, really. My theory, and it is just a theory, is that this deep-seated, wordless tension wells up in a person until it reaches the breaking point and they can no longer pretend that they don't feel it and they can repress no more. They leave, usually without ill words for they themseleves are not certain what made them want to flee, and they stay away until sufficent time has passed to forget what troubled them-- to cleanse themselves, so to speak. And they return, refreshed, as though nothing has happened. I do not recall, but afterwards I don't believe anyone who has returned from absense has explained why they left or why they came back, outside of jest. That follows perfectly, for if I am right they would not had known when leaving why they left because they could not express in words their heavy, dark feelings, and they would have known even less when returning what made them leave because for what was once wordless dread now ceases to exists at all for them. They returned because nothing held them back any longer, and nothing can't be described when asked "why did you come back?""
People just do it to get a reaction out of people. Now they may actually leave, but later decide that they can't stay away forever. IT is an addiction to a forum, despite people's deniance.
"While good times are spent here in this most pleasent community by myself and I think most everyone, this is an ill place-- though I don't prentend to know what makes it ill. Silencing troubles certainly will not help, whatever the root cause may be, however."
Nothing is wrong with this board other than the fact that people are just sort of growing tired of each other and time. Forums come and go, its just a matter of evolution on the net.
Good post, Dusty.
I feel the darkness you are speaking of, but that is not the reason I am "going".
I feel that if I took the hour or so that i spend here everyday, and spent it doing something constructive I could become better at many things.
I realized how little I actually help people, and that I am not contributing to anything in a real positive way. I guess it is the people too. I get tired of the same old thing over and over again. sometimes I am grateful for YUPAPA's innocence and obliviousness.
Mostly it is because I need something new. What some people dont realize is that there is a world outside of the computer; I think the amount of time (or lack of it) that the patrons of this forum spent offline is partly to blame for this darkness.
We do need a good argument again. I think it is the fear of censorship and hurt feelings that is keeping these strifes away.
ah well.
syd- don't worry about it. You sound smart to me, and i dont think you should have any problem getting bursaries and scholarships. there are lots of opprotunities out there, and most are better than making a buck on the internet.
sometimes I think honesty beats respect. even better, respectful honesty. I would rather someone tactfully, and respectfully tell me that I suck or what they don't like about me, than having someone acting fake around me.
let it out
I feel the darkness you are speaking of, but that is not the reason I am "going".
I feel that if I took the hour or so that i spend here everyday, and spent it doing something constructive I could become better at many things.
I realized how little I actually help people, and that I am not contributing to anything in a real positive way. I guess it is the people too. I get tired of the same old thing over and over again. sometimes I am grateful for YUPAPA's innocence and obliviousness.
Mostly it is because I need something new. What some people dont realize is that there is a world outside of the computer; I think the amount of time (or lack of it) that the patrons of this forum spent offline is partly to blame for this darkness.
We do need a good argument again. I think it is the fear of censorship and hurt feelings that is keeping these strifes away.
ah well.
syd- don't worry about it. You sound smart to me, and i dont think you should have any problem getting bursaries and scholarships. there are lots of opprotunities out there, and most are better than making a buck on the internet.
sometimes I think honesty beats respect. even better, respectful honesty. I would rather someone tactfully, and respectfully tell me that I suck or what they don't like about me, than having someone acting fake around me.
let it out
But it does affect more than Syd or Phroz. Every issue on a public forum effects everybody, no matter how private they may seem. You saw, I'm guessing, the thread. Sides were taken. While the issue may be closed-- and I don't think it is, but it may be-- for Syd and Phroz, it's still going on between everyone else, only now it won't ever reach an end. Like I spoke of before, this is one of those cans of worms that's opened but's just pushed aside. It may not take the forum at large over the breaking point and mark its end, as you predicted, but it does take us one step closer.
I'll try to be as "not vague" as possible: All issues effect everyone. While they may chiefly involve just two, the whole forum takes part in them. An issue that goes unclosed, such as one where the thread is deleted and memory of it is hushed, is an issue that will never end and will lead eventually to fragmentation of the community. People will leave, maybe not just on account of this one incident, but after the total of all such incidents push them past their tolerance.
I agree. I myself tend to try to be honest as to what I say, but say it in the nicest manner possible(I personally think outright flaming is idiotic like on political discussions especially). However, I don't think that is a big problem as you think. Phrozen is a perfect example. He went again the board's intial support of syd and said he would not give back the URL. Also, look at Giancarlo and whoever he debates with. IT is a flame war. While I think it is a problem about being honest, it isn't a problem that holds back this board.
However, that said, there are some things best left unsaid.
That's very true Dusty, however I've had some experience on other forums and from what I've seen before, if I hadn't deleted the thread, it would have seriously spiraled into flames, no doubt about that. You can't get rid of it, but it's best to lay it on the plate before it becomes any worse.
"But it does affect more than Syd or Phroz. Every issue on a public forum effects everybody, no matter how private they may seem. You saw, I'm guessing, the thread. Sides were taken. While the issue may be closed-- and I don't think it is, but it may be-- for Syd and Phroz, it's still going on between everyone else, only now it won't ever reach an end. Like I spoke of before, this is one of those cans of worms that's opened but's just pushed aside. It may not take the forum at large over the breaking point and mark its end, as you predicted, but it does take us one step closer."
"I'll try to be as "not vague" as possible: All issues effect everyone. While they may chiefly involve just two, the whole forum takes part in them. An issue that goes unclosed, such as one where the thread is deleted and memory of it is hushed, is an issue that will never end and will lead eventually to fragmentation of the community. People will leave, maybe not just on account of this one incident, but after the total of all such incidents push them past their tolerance."
Sure, other people took sides on the issue, but it only really affected syd and Phrozen. No one else was going to give up the url or get their feelings hurt. Some anger and dislike for either one may have occured as a result of it, but it did not affect anyone else drastically. If that thread affects someone else, they definately need to get a life beyond this message board. We don't need to knwo about every little disagreement on the boards. If it is between two people, it should be taken on soley on PM, and not on a public message baord, because that just fuels hate and flames.
"I'll try to be as "not vague" as possible: All issues effect everyone. While they may chiefly involve just two, the whole forum takes part in them. An issue that goes unclosed, such as one where the thread is deleted and memory of it is hushed, is an issue that will never end and will lead eventually to fragmentation of the community. People will leave, maybe not just on account of this one incident, but after the total of all such incidents push them past their tolerance."
Sure, other people took sides on the issue, but it only really affected syd and Phrozen. No one else was going to give up the url or get their feelings hurt. Some anger and dislike for either one may have occured as a result of it, but it did not affect anyone else drastically. If that thread affects someone else, they definately need to get a life beyond this message board. We don't need to knwo about every little disagreement on the boards. If it is between two people, it should be taken on soley on PM, and not on a public message baord, because that just fuels hate and flames.
