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Rants that I know you'll read even though you've no reason to

Magic rocks, fortune and glory...

  • "Willie" is my professional name, "Indiana"

    Votes: 3 25.0%
  • I'm very little! You cheat very big!

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • I hate the water... I hate getting wet... and I hate [i]you[/i]!

    Votes: 5 41.7%
  • Feel like I walk on fortune cookie

    Votes: 3 25.0%

  • Total voters
    12

Dusty

NLC
NLC
Below I've decided to speak my mind on a few unconnected subjects, enjoy:



This high-speed Internet access is intolerably slow. I got a DirecWay satellite transceiver recently, it being the only form of broadband available here. I still have my 56k dial-up account with Prexar, though, and I'm quite glad I do. I was well aware there'd be no noticeable increase in speed when downloading small files like webpages, but I was expecting it to be dramatically faster downloading larger files. This has not been the case. With 56k, my downloads were fairly consistent. It would normally go at around 6 KB/sec, sometimes as much as 10 KB/sec, never lower than 5 KB/sec, and the connection would never drop-- it may take time, but I would know that if I started downloading, I'd finish downloading. The satellite lags for a few seconds before doing anything. Once it starts to download, it's pretty fast, usually around 275-250 KB/sec. It maintains that speed only for a half a minute of so, then it starts to steadily drop down until after thirty minutes it's down to 5 KB/sec. It holds at around 5 KB/sec for another hour before falling to 0.6 KB/sec, then the connection drops altogether. It is impossible for me to download a large file.

Streaming files is a similar situation. With 56k, the stream may break and I have to wait a few seconds for it to pick back up, but by god, the stream would go from the beginning all the way to the end. With the satellite, the stream starts after the lag, then plays for maybe five minutes, then drops, never to be heard from again.

In the case of webpages, if it was accessible, I could reach it with 56k. Given time, the whole thing would load without problem. The satellite often fails to load pages, forcing one to reload several times before it actually makes a connection, then it often can't maintain it and parts of the page don't come through. DirecWay advises you use their proxy, I suggest otherwise. Without it, maybe 40% of websites don't work, with it, I'd say it's more like 90%.

56k may be slow, but at least it works.



I'm terribly confused about GoDaddy's technical support. What's "24/7" about "Monday-Friday, 9am to 5pm"? Is it 24/7 in the sense that I can call it anytime, regardless of it being answered or not? Can't that be said of any phone number, even those nonexistent? Can I advertise "24/7 technical support, call 555-555-5555"?



Why did Cadbury stop exporting their candies? I don't want Nestle hiding under a wrapper that says "Cadbury", I want Cadbury. They used to export, what happened?



Overnight mail is a rip-off. It doesn't get there overnight and it cost more to send the crap than the crap itself costed. $23 to send a tiny li'l mailer to Kansas containing a roll of movie film that's only worth $11.




Currently basking in the glory of my good ole never-let-me-down 56k modem; awaiting Monday, 9am MST to arive; lamenting that I didn't buy more chocolate at the airport; wondering why the hell I fell for overnight mail; giggling over that last thought as it almost rhymes.
 
How come a good percentage of women in the adult entertainment industry choose ti use the name of an animated male reindeer from a 50's Disney movie? How is that supposed to portay a sexy image, really? I've never heard a term that goes anything at all like "---- like reindeer".

It's clear this pattern isn't being followed, as far as I know. I've never heard of a porn star named Batman, have you?
 
Originally posted by Blank Verse

It's clear this pattern isn't being followed, as far as I know. I've never heard of a porn star named Batman, have you?

Shhhh... you'll give them ideas :nervous:
 
I've got a couple rants to share too.

The first is minivans. I could write a multi page composition on why minivans and thier drivers piss me off.

The next is people in the city who buy an SUV just because they are rich. Why the hell do you need a truck if you live in an apartment, and work 3 blocks away. And then these young urban professionals go on to whine about traffic and how hard it is to find a parking spot while drinking their $10 triple frappe mocha double lattes with one of those stale bread stick things.

fat people who claim disability and then go out for a couple burgers and a steak, extra rare, in celebration of thier settlement also piss me off.

Oh yeah, and then there are Professors who have thier multiple degrees and an ego the the size of Australia. They must be at the university for the free research and instant respect of 1000s of students, because they suck --- at teaching. I swear that some of these profs get a raging hard on at the sound of their own voices.

that's the rant list for today.
 
"BUT THAT'S HOW STARBUCKS MAKES THEIR COFFEES! WHY DON'T YOU MAKE IT THAT WAY!?!?!?!"

- CAUSE THIS IS NOT FUKKIN STARBUCKS!


:: phew :: Had to get it out...
 
Since you are on the topic..


Why does EVERY customer want a DISCOUNT? Ok so it took me 5 minutes to answer the email INSTEAD of 2? I am NOT giving you a 25% discount!

Why is everytime I check my mail, there is more SPAM than actual mail for me?!?!?!?
 
Originally posted by syd
"BUT THAT'S HOW STARBUCKS MAKES THEIR COFFEES! WHY DON'T YOU MAKE IT THAT WAY!?!?!?!"

- CAUSE THIS IS NOT FUKKIN STARBUCKS!


:: phew :: Had to get it out...

That reminds me:

"where's the rum?"

"Under that giant sign entitled 'Rum'..."
 
"OK, now look to the bottom left of your screen where the little button labelled 'Start' is, then click it."
"Dude I just want the DNS servers."
"Trust me on this one. Now when you do that, move your mouse up to the thing that says 'Settings'."
"I just want the DNS servers, I'm not even running Windows right now."
"When you highlight 'Settings', this neat little thing pops out that says 'Control Panel'. I need you to click that."
*Going along with it* "OK I'm in. Now what does this have to do with DNS servers?"
"Oh you want the DNS servers? I thought you needed to configure your modem."
":rolleyes:"

Another thing is when I read all the threads with new posts in a forum, and then i go to another. When i check the index, it says there's a new post in the forum I was originally in. Then I go to it only to find that there aren't any new posts, even though it says there are. This gets really annoying, it happened to me 6 times in a few minutes just now.
 
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Fools! Bureaucratic fools!

I hate tech support. No, that's too general. GoDaddy was nice, only on hold fifteen minutes, problem settled quickly. It's DirecWay that's hell.

Called. On hold an hour. Disconnected.

Called back. On hold forty-five minutes. Didn't push any of the buttons in the hopes I'd eventually get a person. Connected to a nitwit. Asked to speak to said nitwit's supervisor. Transferred. Transferred. Transferred. Disconnected.

Called office number. Transferred to sales. Transferred to tech support. Hung up.

Tried once again. Another nitwit, but by now I was willing to take him. His advice was unplugging it.

"Ah, I get it. You're a moron, right?"

I played along. Unplugged the thing. Waited while he took another call, well, actually, it was a coworker in distress... no, he needed coffee... call-- call, yes, it was another call... from a coworker (God, man, if you're gonna lie, at least stick to it). Plugged it back in. Surprise, surprise, no change.

Did a speed test.

Did it again

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Twice more.

"That's odd" --just the response I wanted to hear.

Told me to check my serial number again. What, did it change? Did a magical elf come and install a new dish and modem while he was getting coffee/on the phone/helping a coworker--who perhaps was on the phone?

"Ah, I get it. You're a moron, right?"

Downloaded a service pack. I already had the service pack, and I made mention of this, but we downloaded it anyway. All I needed was the URL but he had to "guide me through it".

First you click on "The Internet Explorer".

Uh huh.

Then you type in "st-- no, ftp, that's 'f' as in 'f'"

"F" as in "f", you say?

Now, this isn't an ht...p... ww... h... this isn't a web address. It's "ftp" and a colon and a forward slash and another forward slash--

Yes, I got that--

--that's on the question key.

The what?

The question key.

...?

It's next to the period key.

At this point I was forced to put down the phone so that I might better find a hard, blunt object with which to erase all memory of this past discourse from my mind.

"Yes, I've got that: the forward slash on the question key next to the period on the period key followed by the forward slash on the question key next to the period on the period key after the colon on the colon key and the 'p' as in 'p' on the P key."

...and a two and a zero and a five and a one--

Shouldn't there be a dot in there?

(Pause) Yes, a two and a zero and a five and a dot and a one and a seven and another seven and another dot and a six and a three--err, two and a third dot and a nine. Then click the "Okay" button.

The "Okay" button? I'm sorry, is this the continuation of your conversation on the other line/with your coworker/over coffee?

Do you see little pictures?

(I didn't dignified that with response)

Are their names cut off?

No, but as I'm pretending to use "The Internet Explorer" and I'm sure anything out of the ordinary would very likely blow out this poor man's brain, I replied that yes, yes the names of the wee li'l piteres were a-cut off.

Go to view. Go to the details.

Click the one that's that's got the D...

..."D" as in "d", right?

...and the A and the K and maybe a space and a four and three and a nine.

There are four files beginning with "DAK 4.0.3.9", which one?

The one.

Yes, which one?

The one. We want to download the one to the place called the desktop.

"Ah, I get it. You're a moron, right?"

So I download the newest one.

What speed is it downloading at?

5 KB a second.

Don't you mean fifty?

No, I mean five.

(Pause) Just for fun--

Fun?

--download the one with the 403 in it and a 5 and a P in it.

"DAK403_P5.exe"?

Yeah, download it.

Time passes... I'm entertained by listening to him breathe. At least it isn't the on hold music. A blind folded deaf mute with one finger and no coordination on a ten dollar Casio keyboard could compose better Jazz.

Darn, the fun's over, it downloaded.

See?

(pause) See...what? Do you want me to open it?

It downloaded.

Yes, I said that.

You said you couldn't download stuff.

No, I said I couldn't download large files, that the connexion would begin to slow and in time drop altogether. Focus on the "large". This file you had me download is only 764kb.

And you downloaded it.

This is another occasion that called for a blunt object.

Go to a website.

What website?

One you go to a lot.

Okay.

What's your take?

"You're a moron?"

Excuse me?

Did it load fast?

It was cached.

And it downloaded fast.

Well, cross out the "downloaded" bit...

Try going to MSN. It should download in about 40 or 50 seconds.

My dial-up can do better than that.

I mean 30 seconds.

It can still do better.

10 seconds.

Do I hear 5 seconds? 5 seconds, anyone? Gentleman in the front row! How about instantaneous? Lady in the green hat? No? 5 seconds... going... going...

Tell you what, try it for another day--

But you didn't do anything.

--and, I don't know if you're a professional like me and able to judge such things, but if to you it doesn't seem better--

You didn't do anything.

--call back. Bye. *click*
 
ROTFLMAO

Dusty, please tell me that wasn't the actual conversation you had with teh guy; please tell me it isn't so...
 
Most of my responses were more polite on the phone. Here I've written what I'd like to have said if I wasn't a nice guy.
 
It wasn't your responses I was questioning; it was the unbelievable idiocy of the "support tech" I was questioning the validity of. :eek:

//edit - typo...
 
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My rant for teh day...

After an hour and ----in 23 minutes on the damn phone with the ----in stupid Verizon tech support because they're too ----in dumb to realize that the ----in problem is on their ----in end and not mine, I have a bit of the convo I feel I should share. Most of the shit they told me was just ----in pointless, but what the ---- can you do? I had to just ----in play along with their little thing because they didn't seem to ----in listen to a word I was saying.

This part of the conversation we had just takes the ----in cake though...

Them --> OK, have you created a support ticket to report the problem? You can create one by logging in with your username and password at our website. www.verizon.net

Duh!! How ----in dumb can you be?!?! If I could get to your ----in site to create a damn support ticket I wouldn't be calling you in the first place to tell you I don't have any ----in internet access!! Ughhh!!

Although they finally figured out the problem was on their end and got it corrected, I'm still ----in pissed. Does it show? :mad2:
 
Dusty, Dusty, Dusty.

You sir write the finest reading material on this board (ok, there isnt' much to compare it to) :D

But hey, every post of yours is worth reading. And I LOVED the tech support rant! hahaha
 
Re: My rant for teh day...

Originally posted by Bruce
Although they finally figured out the problem was on their end and got it corrected, I'm still ----in pissed. Does it show? :mad2:
Calmed down now Bruce? :nervous: :p
 
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