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Paid account for free for life for the biggest laugh!

Decker

Decker

Officially Old!
NLC
Yep I'm serious, I'll judge the chuckle factor and award a free for life hosting account (a real normally paid one) might go as high as a reseller package and may even, if I really laugh my socks off, include a domain name reg for the initial reg :lol: (your details so you'll own it)

Conditions, just the basics, our TOS, nothing illegal or - well use your brain, you do carry a backlink to web-spot.co.uk.

You must include the "laugh'o'meter" post content and the use you will make of the account and possibly domain name :)

To help out newer members I have a twisted sense of humour and love things like http://icanhascheezburger.com appreciate things like http://www.greatdb.com/ and of course FWS :)

For those that say i can be a Hard A**, well yeh I can be but really I'm a big softy :D

Go on make me chuckle and you could have a full blown web presence today, maybe tommorow if the take up is slow, got to get me laughing first.

PS first one I think wins it wins it so don't take too long :D

Mods - if this should have been in ads rather than here please move, but as you can tell by the post in general I have gone slightly mad :lol:
Nah, just haven't given anything away in a while and I'm feeling one of my rare moments :)
 
That was worth a minor chuckle, read through the post again, you just made me grumpy now!
 
Jeez Kurt go on have a try at least, getting depresed now that all the humour in the world is, like, not!

That's going to make it harder to squeeze the domain and reseller and all the goodies out of me.....
 
Stop calling me gramps....it's creepy LOL

And you still can't have the animals!
 
Absolutely not a laugh, but quite interesting, so i thought i'd post them anyway (just to be different :p)


When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the
> Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
> empire building by George Bush
>
> He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many
> of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom
> beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in
> return is enough to bury those that did not return."
>
> It became very quiet in the room.
>
>
> **************
>
> ; Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
> engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a
> break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have
> you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft
> carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended
> to do, bomb them?"
>
> A Boeing engineer s tood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three
> hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are
> nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore
> facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 5,000
> people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of
> fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen
> helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from
> their flight deck.. We h ave eleven such ships; how many does France
> have?"
>
> Once again, dead silence.
>
>
> *****************
>
>
> A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included
> Admirals from the U.S. , English, Cana dian, Australian and French Navies.
> At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of
> Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone
> was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French
> admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many
> languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that
> we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than
> speaking French?'
>
> Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its because the
> Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have
> to speak German'
>
> You could have heard a pin drop!
 
here goes, I'll start from least funniest to insane if you don't laugh (ps: I hate slapstick so you won't be saying anything like that)

1) What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho Cheese (not-your cheese)

2) Two pretzels were walking down the road, and one was unsalted (assaulted)

Those two are pretty hard to do because it's all in the way you say it...

3) A father and son tomato were walking down a street, and the son was straggling behind his father. The father turns to his son and slaps him yelling "Catch-up".

:lol:

4) Lastly, here's a video - if you don't laugh at this you're either lying or you're clinically insane.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXgdSOxaCGI
(I'm not even going to describe it because that would ruin it).
---
domain name: I have no clue? maybe I'll get a uni.cc or a freedns/afraid.org subdomain

what I'll do with the hosting: I really don't know, maybe some php experimentation until I figure it out (then I'll get the domain). I've got a ton of ideas but limited hosting to do any of them (because most hosts disable all the fun features).
 
Like The Idea ..

I really like the idea .. Free Hosting for Free "Chuckle" ?.. Great..

Well Here is my collection for U.. ( My Favourites )

a letter ..

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma


And the Radio.....

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW.

Canadians: This is a little lighthouse. Your call.


And Finally The Police Man..

A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife.
- No darling, we can’t do it here, our kid is watching us.
- You are right, lets go to the beach.
After a while, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a sudden, a policeman walks in on them.
- Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can’t do that in public.
- You are right - said the husband - but I had a moment of weakness. We didn’t see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me.
- Don’t worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this ----- making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it.
 
[ To The Mods : Kindly Accept this Post as its an entry for this Free Hosting Contest ]

I Really like this Totally New Concept : "Free Hosting for Free Smile ! "

Of course.. " a smile is priceless ! "

These are a few fro my persoanl collection ..

Little Albert..

Miss Anita , The Class Teacher Announced " The one who answers correctly to my next question shall go home first"

Hearing this .. Little Albert Threw his Bag out ouf the Window...

The Teacher Angrily Asked " Who Did This ?"

Little Albert : " I did " .. "see u tomorrow !"


The Radio ...

This is a Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations 10.10.95:

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW.

Canadians: This is a little lighthouse. Your call

This Is The Best Joke of my life .. coz its a real life incident.
The following is part from a real interview :

Interviewer : Gentle man tell us.. should we ask u ONE Tough Question or Several Easy questions ?

Arun : Sir .. I think i would like to opt for ONE Tough Question.

Interviewr : Okay .. This is your Question .. You see .. This is the Room .. The Sofa there.. This Table.. The PC.. and all of us sitting Here .. CAN U TELL US WHAT IS THE CENTRE OF GRAVITY OF THIS ENTIRE SYSTEM ?

Arun : [ After 2 Minutes ] Sir Exactly At This Point Here on this Table [ Pointing on the Table by his forefinger ]

The Interviewer : [ Shokingly ] : What ? How did u Calculate ?

Arun : SIR ! THIS IS UR "SECOND" QUESTION !

And He was really Selected .


Life is really Toooo short to be taken seriiously... Lets Join this Laughing Train !!
 
it's called laughing yoga...form of meditation based on the principle that laughter is the best medicine, somewhat true - but it's the way the guy does it that makes it hilarious. I've seen it so many times and it's still funny..

I take it you didn't laugh at that ...:eek2:
 
That was just disturbing :eek3:

Anyway deals still up for grabs (letter from Ma is in the shortlist so far along with a couple of other bits - and old one but a goody :))

So I could use some cheering up after a frantic weekend so do your worst :lol:
 
When someone makes me laugh :idea:

Response is a bit slow so until I get a good belly laugh it's still fair game :)
 
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