uzzer, because I think you're...without question, the best poster in FWS history, I have a suggestion for you. I wouldn't give this suggestion to anyone else...it's not up to their level.
I want you to start a blog chronicling how you stuck a fork in your eye.
First, you have to get a fork. Then, you have to grab the handle, turn the fork end so it's facing you, and then thrust forward in a stabbing motion towards your eye.
After that, all that's left is coding the site and writing about the experience.