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How to tell if your child is hacking

ROTFLMAO

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
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Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.
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BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.
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ROFL, that is funny.
 
What's really funny is how many of the people commenting at the bottom thought it was supposed to be a serious informative article. ;)
 
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
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ROTFLMAO So if I suddenly stopped wearing jeans to wear khakis, I'm a possible hacker?! ROTFLMAO

BTW, why do the questions starting from #6 keep talking about your son? What about your daughter? ;)
 
[quote

BTW, why do the questions starting from #6 keep talking about your son? What about your daughter? ;) [/B][/QUOTE]

Thanks what I was thinking, they were being sexist
 
I know all of the things in the article but it dosent mention that as your son or daughter become better a hacking then they upgrade to version 2 or 3 of quake as it has more features and better fps (firewalls per second) hacking abilities.


LOL
 
This is what I find funny:

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You
blah blah blah etc etc.

[add]
this too:

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

Does it mean that I'm a computer hacker?

[add2]
This:

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

what the hell is Lunix? Lunix isn't an OS.

[add3]
This too:

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

Hah, everywhere on the web is illegal. And who the hell is Lunyos Torovoltos?

[add4]
They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

That is truly hilarious.
 
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If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
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ROTFLMAO thats too funny

In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases.
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ROTFLMAO my side is hurting from laughing! Meningitis is a viral disease not a psychological disease LOL!
 
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Funny

Oh my god that was quite possibly the funniest load of crap I have ever heard. I was laughing the whole way through that article. 100% of that article was not even worth reading except for a good laugh of course! lol :D
 
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