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Goddamn it FWS, I present you lady drama

Blank Verse

Everyone else here gets to do it, why can't I? For some reason I value and trust the advice of SOME of you here, so this is why I'm posting, despite the fact that I have to be up in 3 hours for work.

So there are two girls in play here.

Girl A is a good friend, but I've always harboured feelings for her. She's kind of my dream girl. You know how everyone always says they want the smart, funny girl, all the things of substance, but secretly they also really want a girl with big guns? Well, this girl is the complete package, and she does just make me happy. But we've always just been friends. However, lately, I'm just getting the sense that maybe she's reciprocating the feelings a little bit. It's hard to explain here, but I can just feel it, you know?

But you can understand why I'm treading slowly here. I don't want to jump the gun and make my move before she's come around to the whole idea.

Girl B, is a friend as well, cool chick. She's coming into town this weekend, and basically, she's looking to get ----ed. She called me today and just let fly with the dirty talk, and I, like an idiot, went along with it. I knew it was wrong, but it's hard having a girl telling you all these things she wants to do to you without being curious to see where she's going with it.

The dillemas are many. I'd normally totally go for the booty call, because I'm kind of a pig sometimes. But obviously there are circumstances in play here, given my feelings for Girl A. Like I said, I don't want to mess this up.

But Girl B is a friend too, and she's expecting something from me. I don't want to do it now, but I'm worried about the backlash of a woman scorned. Girl A and Girl B have some mutual friends, and girls talk, know what I mean? Basically, I need you guys to convince me to do the right thing and not jump in the sack with Girl B, but help me find a way to do it without making her mad or like a useless piece of meat. Because I don't want her to feel cheap or anything. And, more selfishly, I wouldn't want her talking smack about me to Girl A.

Is there any good way to do this?
You could be a hero here - tell girl B about girl A without mentioning the name A, hook up your friend who never gets laid with girl B ( every1 has one right ? ), every1's happy ...
If you have money why not have the cake and eat it too?
Hump Girl B then take Girl A on a 3 month trip to France, By the time you get back the talking will be over...

Failing that, Tell Girl B you dont want sex - You will find it very enjoyable (Nearly more than sex itself), I love telling girls Im not gonna screw them when they want it lol.
Although it tends to make them try harder or get really pissed off and never talk to you again.
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Find a way to get out of this thing with Girl B. Here's some ideas:

1. Your sick
2. Your grandma died, got to go to funeral
3. Just disappear for a week or 2

Then, you can wait to see what happens with Girl A. :D
Girl B would be a great way to make Girl A jealous enough to decide whether she wants to be with you or not.
Plan A:

Firstly, turn into a 'scene kid'. They are notorious for their ever changing sexual orientations. In this, you can tell Girl B that you in fact are a batty boy and avoid engaging in coitus. You can also use this new found love of the penis to become even closer to Girl A. When the time is right, you can quickly switch back to the right side of the sexual orientation fence and make yourself available to Girl A. This is your ideal situation.

However, this transformation into a 'scene kid' can't happen overnight. If it does, the facade will end up being transparent and you'll be labeled as a poser. This will cause the plan to fail. However, in the event this plan should fail, DO NOT WORRY, keep your wits about you, and you can fall back to Plan B.

Plan B:

Have sex with Girl B. Then with Girl A. Then Girl A and B.

Should this plan fail, follow through with Plan C.

Plan C:

Repeat Plan B with force.
Send girl B my way.

I'll say this...look out for number one. You don't want to hurt girl B, but you've gotta do what's best for you first. Because, well, that's what everyone else does.
There are a lot of ways to approach this, I think.

So this is a placeholder till I have the time to type my reply.

(not that anyone should EVER follow my advice when it comes to women, much less follow my example.)
Do you see Girl A regually? If so get HER drunk then make a slight move.


EDIT: Gayowulf has being typing for 4hrs!
Plan B:

Have sex with Girl B. Then with Girl A. Then Girl A and B.

Should this plan fail, follow through with Plan C.

Plan C:

Repeat Plan B with force.

I vote for plan B/C

But it would be more fun if you had DD no? :p

Best bet. Just tell B how you feel and hope she understands...if not..wear a cup

Blank my man, this is a doozy bro. the honest best thing to do, not the funnest, would be to just do what Joe said. just tell her you have strong feelings for another woman, and that yes, you would enjoy all the things she (girl b) would do to you, but, it wouldnt be right. most girls can deal with that type of honesty, and she will do one of two things: get mad and slap your face and walk out, or, she will tell you she understands, gives you a hug and kiss, and hangs out/leaves, or, if you are lucky, it would be another reaction in there resulting in her telling you to shut up and just ---- her for the night and that she wont say anything. :D good luck bro.
I think she saw it coming.

We started talking today, and right before I brought up that I was like...not going to do nasty things with her, she told me she wasn't coming into town at all.

But there was no real reason given.

So crisis averted for the time being, I suppose.

I can't believe this whole thing was resolved before Nick pitched in.
Well..I don't think asking Nick for advice would be a good thing...cause then we'd have another thread...."Need advice on what advice to give to a friend..."

Yea Nick, I went there.