Joe_G
New Member
A few days after reading the thread NEVER say to a cop... I got this email and thought it was pretty funny. I guess some cops are quick witted 
These 16 comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant
poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't.... Sign here.' [Ouch!]
These 16 comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant
poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't.... Sign here.' [Ouch!]
