:^) happy
) very happy
:,-) :'-) so happy that they're crying
:~-) so happy that they're crying
8-> just happy
}:-} has a big grin
%-} amused
I-) |-) sniggering
:-D (-D laughing
(-) laughing
%-(|) laughing out loud
:'-D :,-D lauging so much that they're crying
guffawing loudly
%-{ :/) not amused
:-I indifferent / apathetic
:-1 :-! bland
:-/ :-\ sceptical / undecided
%-) confused
:~/ really mixed up
:-T straight faced
:-( unhappy
-( :-c very unhappy
{:-{ definitely unhappy
8^( %-{ sad
-\ VERY sad
:-< forlorn
:-... heart-broken
:'-( :,-( crying
:~(~~ :~-( crying
&.(.. crying
&-| &-( tearful
:-e disappointed
-<
-( frowning
>:-( not keen on something
:-c bummed
:-C really bummed
:-t :-z cross
-& :-|| angry
>:-< >:-<< mad
> :-( mad
>-< absolutely livid
~ :-( steaming mad
|-O yawning
#-) exhausted after partying all night
*|-0 is still working at 5 a.m.
|-( very tired
|-I |-| asleep
|-( 3-i asleep and having nightmares
|^o 3-O snoring
:*} :-} tipsy
:-{ is tipsy on rough wine
:*) drunk
%*} very drunk
%') finished off a fifth for lunch
%-<|> %-) drunk with laughter
%-\ %*@
hungover
=) 8-( surprised!
:-o surprised
* :-o alarmed !
:-o shocked / awed
=(8-0) =:-o having a hair-raising experience!
:- ] :-C so shocked that their jaw has hit the ground
:-I puzzled
;-) '-) winking
>-::-D smitten by Cupid's arrow
:-} ;-} leering
>:-> leering
;>) :-1 smirking
:-, smirking
( :+( scared
:-> :-] sarcastic
:-[ critical
:-& tongue-tied
:-[ pouting
;-> lewd
)
impish
>
}
devilish
>-) };-> a rude devil
@;-) a flirt
:-8( condescending
:-7 :-} wry
8^| grim
:-* bitter
:-6 sour
!
imaginative
-]
[- impressed
P-) fresh
:-0 silent (quiet lab!)
:-x :-X sworn to secrecy / has a taped-up mouth
:-# :-X lips are sealed
:-W :-h speaking with a forked tongue
:-w speaking with a forked tongue
:^) :-J tongue-in-cheek
8-I 8-| in suspense
|-p |-P revolted
:-| disgusted
:-/ chagrined
:-C totally unbelieving
|:-| excessively rigid
*-) stoned
*8(
strange
X-( 8-# dead
L-P totally scrambled (that's why L-P mud exists)
:-] obnoxious
{
wears a toupee / has hair parted in the middle
}
as above, in an updraft
{
-) is wearing a toupee
}
-( is wearing a toupee in the wind
{
has old-fashioned hair
-) C:-| is bald
-
=
has a Mohican
~
has a Mohican and has been out in the rain
#
has matted hair
&
has curly hair / forgot to brush their hair
S
@
has wavy hair / uses too much hairspray
>:-> has a crew cut
J
has nice hair
$
has a comb stuck in their hair
I:-O is a flathead / flat-top
(-) needs a haircut
@:-} is just back from the hairdresser
:-] is a blockhead
:-[ is an unhappy blockhead
o
is a pea-brain
C
has a large cranial capacity
}:-( is bull-headed
|
has bushy eyebrows
'
,
shaved off one eyebrow this morning
/;-) has one big thick cock-eyed eyebrow
%-) has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
%-) H-) is cross-eyed
?-( !-( has a black eye
-( E-( has had their eyes gouged out
=-( has had their eyes scratched out
.-) has only one eye
,-) has only one eye and is winking
|-( has lost their contact lenses
o:-( +-( has been shot between the eyes
:=) has two noses (or has no nose...)
:_) has a nose sliding off their face
:--) :c) has a very large nose
:C) :c< has a very large nose
:~) has a squiggly nose
:>)
+) has a big nose
:/\) has an extremely big nose
:u) :n) has a pug nose
:^) :v) has a broken / pointy / cute nose
|~( has just had their nose broken
:+) has just had their broken nose set
:I) has a septum pierce
:-|) :-{ has a moustache
:<) :-*| has a moustache
:-{) :-3 has a handlebar mustache
:-}) has an RAF moustache
:-#) has a bushy moustache
:-=) is an older user with a moustache
:<)
-D is a blabbermouth
:-B is a buttmouth
:-$ has mouth wired shut
:-(=) has big teeth
:-E] needs to go to the dentist
:-F] just came back from the dentist
:-H is missing teeth
:-|] has no need to go to the dentist
:-T has just zippered their lips shut
:-B has just bitten their lip
) has a double chin
)) is extremely overweight
} :-} has a beard
# :<)= has a beard
-{~ has a beard
## has a long beard
= :-{> has a goatee
(-: is left handed
:-|8( )- is pregnant
:-d~ is a heavy smoker
*:* is fuzzy
*:** is fuzzy with a fuzzy moustache
:-~| :-'| has a cold
:*) has a cold
:-R has the 'flu
-$ is ill
:%)% has acne
~~
~~:-[ is on fire / has been flamed !
%-6 is brain-dead
-|
I is an egghead
<:-I is a dunce
&8-| *8-| is a nerd
is a nerd
*X-| is a dead nerd
. has an innie belly button
, has an outie belly button
;^? has been punched out
%+| has lost a fight
;-\ has been beaten up
;-| has been beaten up but is staying silent
:-s has heard a bizarre comment
%-| has been working all night
:-S has just made an incoherent statement
:-* has just eaten something sour
:-# has just said something that shouldn't have been said
*-) has been shot dead
:-( | has been beheaded
:-(O has been hanged
._/ has been squashed
[Accountancy Link]
d
adolescent
V(8-| Air Force pilot
(|:-# =:-H American footballer
C:# American footballer
O
o
angel / saint
O
O |-) angel / saint
8 artist
_(D) (0)-<-< astronaut
~:-o baby (crying)
:-% banker
)t bank robber
C):-O barbershop quartet member
q
q:-# baseball catcher
d
baseball player
<>
bishop
:-? Blue Oyster Cult fetishist
:_) X-# boxer
C=
8=
chef
Q=
chef (graduated)
*
) *
) clown
<*
DX :*) clown
(V)=| computer game champion
:
cosmonaut
C)
c|:-0 cowboy
~(O)| (O)| deep sea diver
:-L] dentist
>
}
devil
)X-> devil
=|
X diplomat
-O doctor (with stethoscope)
::--(( earthquake victim
((cc-- fractal geometrist
]:-] Gaelic musician
~
-| general or marshal
( ghost
|<
L
graduate
Q
graduate (recent)
:<) graduate from an Ivy League or Oxbridge college
\:^) gumby
<|## hangman
<<<<
-) hat salesman
>:^( headhunter (Amazon style)
|^o hepcat
<
hero
<:<)} {{-}}} hippie
(##] [8-F hockey player
@-) hypnotist
>-> illusionist
d
jockey
+<||-) knight
: ) leper
8
little girl
X
little kid
<
<*
magician
... :-(...
... :-( manic depressive
(#-[ marine
>X#-[ (Marines never die, they just regroup in Hell)
]
member of the Royal Family
*--- Miami Vice fan
*
-| military officer
MP
-[ Military Policeman
o
-) miner
(B-I= modern art critic
+<
monk / nun
:-0 :-v orator
:?) philosopher
@*~ Pink Floyd fan
oX) P-( pirate
>P-) pirate
+
priest
+
-| priest (orthodox)
:- prolog programmer
@= pro-nuclear activist
@-D psychologist
-
=
punk
-:-( =:-( (real punks don't smile)
=[O-)] racing driver
E
E-
radio ham
q
rapper
+-
-) religious leader
<|-) rickshaw driver
[:-] :--] robot
[:] [:|] robot
<
<<| rocket pilot
4
sailor
*#*!^*&
schizophrenic
O-)
)-) scuba diver
0-( scuba diver with a broken mask
(B^| secret agent
=(#-I Sepultura fan
C):-| * sheriff
% skateboarder
<
skier
-)
-| soldier
$
-| soldier (dog-soldier)
-)" soldier with medals / officer
_
-| soldier from the communications corps
|-
-| soldier from the radar division
$:-$ stockbroker
=< Stormtrooper (Star Wars)
UJ
student at the Jagellonian University
<:|-|)< student of physics (esp. at Jagellonian University)
S
superuser
J :-J surfer
(
swimmer
|
~
teacher
C
Tefal employee
)t terrorist
-=*
TeX wizard
8 thespian
:->-<
>-< thief - hands up !
>:-I >:-| Trekkie
E-
TV detector van operator
:-[ :-< vampire
= vampire
:-E vampire - buck-toothed
:-F vampire - buck-toothed with one tooth missing
(D) welder
<:-D witch
8
-=#
wizard
8<
wizard
$-) yuppy
-- 98-pound (seven stone) weakling
:<() an African tribesman
~8-| an alien
:-O>-o an American tourist (with camera)
!:-| an Apache
\%*} an Apache after too much fire water
(-: an Australian
]:-] a Celt
<|-) <|-)= Chinese
>|-> >-> Chinese
<|-( <|-(= Chinese and doesn't think this joke is funny
!-| a Cylon Centurion
=|
~D an Englishman (with cup of tea)
@:] a goblin
_
_:^) an Indian (American)
(8-
: an Indian (American)
@
an Indian (Asian)
:-$ :^$ Jewish
>>:-1 a Klingon
O-) a Martian (happy)
*)
a Muslim
*):|| a Muslim woman
H=D :-() a Negro
):-( Nordic
|-) an Oriental
<
<|-) a Vietnamese peasant
}
-( a Viking
) a balaclava
D) a crash helmet
G
a football helmet
d
a baseball cap
\
/
a beret
*/
*\
a tam o'shanter
c)
C|
a bowler hat
@}
a gardening hat
(|
a helmet
K
8-
-) a propeller hat / beanie
@
a turban
=|
a top hat
o<
a bobble hat
<|
a party hat
{|
a Mao suit
[
a personal stereo
8
specatcles on their forehead
B
sunglasses on their head
|-( contact lenses, but has lost them
spectacles or goggles
B-) horn-rimmed glasses
B-) sunglasses
]-I very cool sunglasses (so smirks)
|-) Ray-Bans
R-) %-( broken glasses
:
(-E: bi-focals
g-) pince-nez
:-# :-{#} braces
:-{} lipstick
:-+ too much lipstick
8
x a bow tie
o-
>- a tie
x===> a tie
8>
x> a tuxedo
8--- a tuxedo
o->
-|K- a suit and tie
(=| a ghost costume
*<
X a party outfit with a hat and bow-tie
:-|K- evening dress
:->X==| formal wear
B-)[< sunglasses and swimming trunks
]:-} =]===> King Arthur
B-) Batman
B-| Batman (as played by Michael Keaton)
*
Beaker (The Muppets)
:/7) Cyrano de Bergerac
(8-o #:-o Mr Bill
#
+= Betty Boop
) ) The Chesire Cat
=|:=) C|:-= Charlie Chaplin
*<
> *<|
Santa Claus
o-<:-}}} *<
-) Santa Claus
o-
-{o{{{{ Santa Claus
o<:-}} Santa Claus
=
] Bill Clinton
)) William Conrad
: .) Cindy Crawford
>>-O-> General Custer
0-) {0-) Cyclops
(*): I (O-) Cyclops
@-) Cyclops
*-( Cyclops (after meeting Odysseus)
.-) ,-) Sammy Davis Jr.
B-(8 Sir Robin Day
:-[x> :-C Count Dracula
:###) Jimmy Durante
:g) ::
The Elephant Man
%-) The Elephant Man
:--) Jamie Farr (Klinger from M*A*S*H)
-) Jose Feliciano
7
Fred Flintstone
[:-|I [
Frankenstein's monster (get it right!)
EK( Frankenstein's monster
}:-{| Clark Gable
:+) Carl Friedrich Gauss
{ Alfred Hitchcock
:=( :-=( Adolf Hitler
--- John Holmes
-) : 8=== John Holmes
===8 John Holmes
:'O Bob Hope
(8 ) The Invisible Man
:-(O) Mick Jagger
?8-o Elton John
:-((
) Al Jolson
$-) Alex Keaton (Family Ties)
- Helen Keller
===:-D Don King
!!! Sam Kinnison
P-) Colonel Klink (Hogan's Heroes)
=|
=|
= Abe Lincoln
C)B-) The Lone Ranger
~
-) ... and Tonto
}B-i |:[' Groucho Marx
:*) Ed McMahon
:-! Malcolm McUser
:-.) Marilyn Monroe / Madonna
O-) Megaton Man on patrol !
8
-) Mickey Mouse
:'} Richard Nixon
8 Dolly Parton
%\v %-~ Pablo Picasso
%-^ Pablo Picasso
:----} Pinnochio
+-
+O
The Pope
+<:-| +<
-) The Pope
+-
-) The Pope
!-| Popeye
@:-() 5
Elvis Presley
:Q) John Q. Public
7
7:^] Ronald Reagan
([( |:] Robocop
(|-| F >|( Robocop
3:*> Rudolph the Reindeer
=)
=)
Uncle Sam
=|
= Uncle Sam
=== Arnold Schwarzenegger
Willie Shoemaker
c)P-( Long John Silver
:8-1 3
Bart Simpson
****
{
Marge Simpson
/:-| Mr Spock
Q:-o William Tell Jr.
:$) Donald Trump
(8<| Darth Vader
4
George Washington
}:-{| Snidley Whiplash
->=
X Zippy the Pinhead
=)||) Zorro
:-: mutant smiley
:] gleep - a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
3:] 3
] pet smiley
3:[ Mean pet smiley
:-i semi-smiley
>:-o smiley antelope
:= | :=8) smiley baboon
: = smiley beaver
d8= smiley beaver wearing goggles and a hard hat
3:-] smiley bullock
| smiley bull terrier
3
smiley calf
8^ smiley chicken
3
3:-o smiley cow
:3-< smiley dog
{:V .V smiley duck
B| smiley frog
B) smiley frog wearing sunglasses
8P 8b smiley frog in the mating season
8:] smiley gorilla
:-| smiley monkey
:8)
) smiley pig
| ) smiley salamander
~~~~8} smiley snake
><:>== smiley turkey
:-> :<= smiley walrus
:V smiley woodpecker
[ smiley worm (or ant)
'~;E unspecified four-legged critter
=:7)~~ rat / mouse (the 7 is its nose)
=;7)~~ winky rat, sarcastic as ever
=:7(~~ sad rat
=:7>~~ sarcastic rat (the default)
> ;7)~~ winky and devil combined
~~(*:= left-handed mouse (drunk?)
=%7)~~ rat that has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours
=87)~~ rat with eyeglasses
0 =:--~~ Holy Rat in punker look
<:3 )~~~~ mouse / rat
C=}>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.
}:^#}) Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double chin.
}:~#}) Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double chin.
C=>8*) Devilish chef with glasses and a moustache
C=}>;*{O) Drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin
(}-8] left-handed bearded smiley with glasses and headphones
/8^{~ hair line, glasses, moustache, and goatee
:^{)> moustache and beard
[8-{) bearded smiley with glasses and headphones
{:-{)} new hair style, mustache and beard
8*) has glasses and a moustache
I-8)~V-|! a left-handed general of an AF Apache radar section
