Dumb Co-pilot:
Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard
over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1."
Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding
at 3000 over that pad!"
There was a brief moment of silence.
First voice again: "You idiot! You're my CO-PILOT!"
End of Dumb Co-pilot.
Stupid Mental Patient:
There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had
his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this
guy do this day after day.
The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening
to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard
nothing.
He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear
anything."
The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that
for months."
End of Stupid Mental Patient.
The life of a Sparrow:
Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who
decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the
weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to head
south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he
fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow
thought it was the end. But the manure warmed him and
defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he
started to sing.
Just then a large cat came by and investigated the sounds. The
cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and
promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily
your friend.
3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep your
mouth shut!
End of the life of a sparrow.
A preacher messup:
A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little
nervous and about ten minutes into the talk his mind went
blank. He remembered some advice they gave him in seminary
school for when a situation like this arose -- repeat your
last point. Often this will help you remember what should
come next. So he gave it a try.
"Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank.
So he tried again, "Behold, I come quickly!" Still nothing.
He tried once more, this time with so much vehemence that he
tripped over his microphone wire and fell off the stage,
right into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
The young preacher was very embarrassed and tried to
apologize, and the woman replied, "That's all right, young
man. It was my fault...I should have gotten out of the way.
You told me three times you were coming!"
End of a preachers messup.
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