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- Thread starter Gayowulf
- Start date
That's because he wasn't talking to you.
I always knew this day would come.
So last month, I had some friends in town visiting for business. They were staying downtown at the Westin hotel. We all went for dinner at Joey Tomato's about a block away from the hotel. You know, good times and beer., and, more beer.
So we all left at the end of the night, and stumbled over towards the Westin, where I said my goodbyes to everyone and then went on my way. I realized I was a block away in two directions from a Tim Hortons (which, if you don't know, and you don't, is an ICONIC Canadian coffee restaurant, in which we start our mornings everyday, because they do good work) So I was like...---- yeah, I want a coffee.
So the closest one was a brand new one, directly across the street from the Westin. So naturally I went to that one. Less walking ftw. So I strut on over to the crosswalk and sit there waiting for it to turn green.
I was waiting there with a hooker. I should mention that part.
So the light turns green, and the hooker starts to cross. I gave her a few steps lead on me before I started to cross, so it didn't look like I was with the hooker.
so of course, OF COURSE, the hooker is also going to Timmy's, and seeing as I gave her the lead, she was there first and was holding the door open for me. I was going to say thank you, but then these guys on the corner having a smoke yelled out "yeah, go get her dude".
So I was like "huh?" and turned back to where I was going only to see the hooker looking at me saying "Oh...yeah if you wanted to, I"
"What...OH? no. No, I just want a double double (two cream two sugar. In Canada, you have to call it a double double or else you're immediately branded as a foreigner)" so yeah...I should have said coffee, not double double.
"Yeah baby. I can do that"
"Goddamn it" It dawned on me that this switch inside of her went off and she was in sales mode. "No...I...uh..YAWN, it's past my bedtime, I don't even need coffee"
"So let's go to bed, sugar" (I think she saw me with a bunch of people who walked into the Westin and figured I was also staying there...big money for a hooker if she can land that)
So I paused for a second, either in disgust, or I was contemplating it, I'm not sure, but then I just said "Goodbye hooker" and walked over to the other Tim's a couple of blocks away.
I realized there was nothing on the menu that I could have said I wanted that she couldn't have used against me in some weird sexual act. I don't know if I wanted to find out or not.
I always knew this day would come.
So last month, I had some friends in town visiting for business. They were staying downtown at the Westin hotel. We all went for dinner at Joey Tomato's about a block away from the hotel. You know, good times and beer., and, more beer.
So we all left at the end of the night, and stumbled over towards the Westin, where I said my goodbyes to everyone and then went on my way. I realized I was a block away in two directions from a Tim Hortons (which, if you don't know, and you don't, is an ICONIC Canadian coffee restaurant, in which we start our mornings everyday, because they do good work) So I was like...---- yeah, I want a coffee.
So the closest one was a brand new one, directly across the street from the Westin. So naturally I went to that one. Less walking ftw. So I strut on over to the crosswalk and sit there waiting for it to turn green.
I was waiting there with a hooker. I should mention that part.
So the light turns green, and the hooker starts to cross. I gave her a few steps lead on me before I started to cross, so it didn't look like I was with the hooker.
so of course, OF COURSE, the hooker is also going to Timmy's, and seeing as I gave her the lead, she was there first and was holding the door open for me. I was going to say thank you, but then these guys on the corner having a smoke yelled out "yeah, go get her dude".
So I was like "huh?" and turned back to where I was going only to see the hooker looking at me saying "Oh...yeah if you wanted to, I"
"What...OH? no. No, I just want a double double (two cream two sugar. In Canada, you have to call it a double double or else you're immediately branded as a foreigner)" so yeah...I should have said coffee, not double double.
"Yeah baby. I can do that"
"Goddamn it" It dawned on me that this switch inside of her went off and she was in sales mode. "No...I...uh..YAWN, it's past my bedtime, I don't even need coffee"
"So let's go to bed, sugar" (I think she saw me with a bunch of people who walked into the Westin and figured I was also staying there...big money for a hooker if she can land that)
So I paused for a second, either in disgust, or I was contemplating it, I'm not sure, but then I just said "Goodbye hooker" and walked over to the other Tim's a couple of blocks away.
I realized there was nothing on the menu that I could have said I wanted that she couldn't have used against me in some weird sexual act. I don't know if I wanted to find out or not.
True story Blank Verse. I was walking behind you two too.
Supa dupa true.
Supa dupa true.
Yeah, I saw you there.
thanks for the help
thanks for the help
I'm so glad Gayowulf made you tell the story because it was hilarious. haha.
I pretty much do whatever Gayo says.
He didn't say anything because he thought he was in the on the double double. Right, stfuradio?
Right tandoc tandoctandoc said:
heh...my friend JP was like "I'd rather ---- a hooker bareback than drink a double double. ---- you city folk make me sick"
The motto used to be "you've always got time for Tim Hortons"
But that's mostly because you're usually about a thousand feet away from one at any given time.
But that's mostly because you're usually about a thousand feet away from one at any given time.
We have Krispy Kreme in Canada 
We have Krispy Kreme in Canada
We have those here, too.
