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A joke to break the bordom

phuckedup

phuckedup

! ¿ who ? ¡
NLC
FWS has been dead for the past few hours (it seemed like hours to me :() so here's a joke :smash:



A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house!! Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

TWO hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
 
IuseIE said:
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
Click to expand...

THat is Deff The Best Part Man Thats Such a good Joke Brought a Smile 2 my Day :)
 
Of course that's the best part of the joke bcause without it, it wouldn't be funny enough to be a joke ;)
 
Another joke. Not quite as amusing, but anyway...

X X X X X

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man
departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife
the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They
were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the
man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal
to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the
problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach
was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as
Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would
arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool
area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his
haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.

His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife
whose even older husband had died only the day before! When the grieving
widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an
anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room
where they saw this message on the screen:

Dearest wife,

Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at
the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of
your arrival tomorrow.

Your loving husband.

P.S. Things are not as we thought. You are going to be surprised at how
hot it is down here.
 
At a small terminal in the Texas Panhandle, three strangers are awaiting their shuttle flight. One is a Native American passing through from Oklahoma. Another, a local ranch hand on his way to Ft. Worth for a stock show. The third passenger is an Arab student, newly arrived from the Middle East.

To pass the time, they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout Muslim. The conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face while the wind outside blows tumbleweeds and the old windsock flaps.

Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly, he speaks:
"Once my people were many, now we are few."

The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
"Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Texan shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet."
 
Three guys walk into a bar.
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you would've thought the 3rd guy'd duck. :p
 
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